Step family boundaries building tips

Unfortunately, divorce is not a rare case nowadays. Marriages and families break up. It is one case when two spouses do not have children. But, when they do, then it is a problem of a higher level. In addition to psychological traumas, both adults and children should learn how to live a new life, break up a common style of life, etc.

One more problem arises when ex-spouses find new partners and create new families. This is a rather difficult moment for either children or adults. Children used to live with one parent. Moreover, a new family member is a stranger to them. Thus, they may painfully react to such changes. But sometimes, a “new-comer” manages to make friends with children, and a newly created family live a happy and cheerful life. In such cases, the other biological parent of a child may feel jealous towards a step-parent. Let’s consider how to cope with this type of jealousy: 1. Think about your child first. Talk to them and ask whether their new step-parent is good. If your kid likes him/her, in no case say bad words about the step-parent. Remember that this may cause new psychological disorders of your child. 2. Give time to yourself and all participants of the situation. You should take enough time to accept the reality for yourself. It is time to have serious psychological work. Your task is to accept the situation in your head and put up with it. When you’re ready to overcome this step, you can meet your child and discuss a new step-patent with him/her. One more case when there is jealousy between family members is when children feel jealous towards a step-parent. In this case, stick to the following steps: 1. It is advisable to make contact with a kid long before marriage. Play with him/her, become his/her friend, spend time in their house as your mother/father’s friend. When a child treats you as his/her friend, he/she won’t react too negatively to your decision. 2. If you face particular problems with establishing contact with a teenage child, remember the above-mentioned rule: take time; nothing happens just within one day. Everyone needs time to put up with such news. Finally, you knew what you were doing when you met a woman/man with children from a previous marriage. 3. Try to discuss the situation with a child tete-a-tete. Find the right time and suggest your step-child having a talk. Explain your position, say that his/her mom/dad feels happy with you, and the child’s vagaries make his/her parent upset. Find the right words to prove your step-child that you make your spouse happier. If you see that a kid feels more benevolent, you can discuss some pleasant points. For example, walks, common weekends, pastime.